Book Nerd/Writers thoughts on Friendship

I am an extrovert. Someone who always likes to be around people whether I am happy or sad, busy or bored, weekday or weekend, day or night (maybe not in the morning before coffee…) so people say it is natural for me to have so many friends.

I have to say that is a cop out. Extrovert or Introvert, we were never designed to be alone.
And I am not talking about quantity or the amount of fb friends one has. I am talking about
the kind of friendships that take time, energy and money to invest in, the ones who know the real you, the people who have seen you at your lowest and highest and still choose to stick around, the ones who would come and rescue you in the middle of the night when you are throwing up at someone’s engagement party after one lychee martini, the friends who are only one phone call away. Those you laugh with nonstop. The ones who will always cheer you up and say everything is going to be ok. Who make time for you not because it is convenient but because you are a priority!

I said it. PRIORITY. Everything in life is about priorities. We each get 24 hours a day. No one has more time. You spend time on the things that matter to you the most whether it is your work, your family, money, your lover or your friends.

I shot Melbourne Fashion Designer Conilios 30th recently. I only met him once on a shoot for the Grand Hyatt so I don’t really know him but there was one thing that was crazy obvious :
He is a good Friend.
Birthdays, Parties, Weddings reveal that. People who are a good friend have good friends. To see the tears and laughter brought up in his speeches really touched my heart. It is very close to home as I am someone that has and always will value friendships.

neiyo_conilio-525

Sure, there are lots of negatives about investing in friendships. It takes time & effort. It requires you GIVING. People disappoint you. You will most likely get hurt or disappointed. Friends can be lost. They can betray you. As they said in the show Younger
“Good things only happen when you risk letting the bad stuff happen too “

So, is it all worth it?

Studies show that friendships extend our life expectancy. I am not surprised at all as it is probably because friends help us survive!!! Do life together!
We all need to be encouraged especially during hard times.
We all need to be told ” do not worry “.
We all need to cry sometimes.
I need to be told during air turbulence that ” it is just the wind “.
We all have families and some of us have partners, but it is not the same! There’s something very generous and kind and giving about a person who cares for people who are not related to them, who we get to choose. Life is SO much more colourful with friends.

Don’t get me wrong. I have been disappointed many times which forced me to take a hard look at my life and reassess all my friendships. Of course I still haven’t got it all figured out. Constantly still making new friends and learning who are my true friends/confidants.
But I have found a few that I can always count on.
AND
I have figured out the most important quality that I look for in a friend
Drumroll….
Its CONSISTENCY.
Thats it.
TBC

But for now, please don’t miss out.