How important is looking good to you? Being a wedding photographer it is all about making my brides and grooms look their best. But have you ever seen the movie shallow Hal where this superficial guy gets a curse/ blessing in disguise where he gets to see people’s inner beauty reflected in their outward appearance? Well remember how in my last piece I mentioned how there is usually a message just for you when you get it twice? Well it happened again, and this was my message
“God sees not as man sees,
for man looks at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart”
Wow. So many thoughts run through my mind.
How many of us truly judge someone/ something based on whats on the inside rather than whats on the outside? Was it just me that was horrified at the ending of Shrek when Shrek instead of turning into a prince, the princess turned into Shrek? I mean my whole life and career is based on BEAUTY, I photograph beautiful things, beautiful people and couples in love.
Mum came over for dinner recently and noticed that I even pick the soy sauce with the prettier packaging ( I am a sucker for packaging ). But if I had to choose between the soy sauce that is tastier with the less impressive packaging which one would it be? Afterall she asked, what is Soy Sauce for?
So a couple of problems with looking at the outward appearance :
LOOKS don’t last.
One of my close friends is so damm good at it. She didn’t seem to have a type at first glance as all the guys she has ever dated are of different background, height and appearance. But as she showed me pictures of these guys, I noticed that they did have something in common…..they all had a kind face.
So then, do looks or appearances impair our judgement? Is it a hinderance and distraction?
Is it an aid, a manifestion of whats on the inside?
A lot of my friends and I share a love hate relationship with social media. I love using instagram and insta stories to share my world and bring joy to peoples lives through appreciating the little things in life. But how normal has it become to fill it with selfies these days? How much of it is real? Is it selling a lifestyle that does not exist? Are people as happy and in love as they look? Are they reflections of our insecurities, the dopamine that feeds us when someone likes or comments and thus validating our lives based on how it LOOKS?
Do you see people for who they truly are?
What would life look like if we saw people for their heart instead of how they appear? Would it save a lot of heartache, wasted time, energy and youth?
We see with our eyes because we are limited beings, we have limited experiences and limited knowledge, we make mistakes, wrong judgments, it takes time to get to know a person and all we get is a first glance what we call first impression.
So I guess the heart is important as the heart shapes a person’s intentions and their direction in life.
The best analogy I have heard is that when you buy a house, you do not judge it based on just the outside, but whats on the inside, right?
So my big question then is HOW?
How do we see not with our eyes but with our hearts?
Here are a few things Ive gathered from my naive, always seeing the good in people experience
This is another reason why you have friends! Its ALWAYS easier for an outsider to see objectively because there are no feelings involved so LISTEN. If they are all saying the same thing then it would probably be wise to not disregard it!
See with not just your eyes but your ears. Did you know that what we see affects what we hear? So listen to what they talk about, be attentive to what they say as what comes out of the mouth flows from the heart. My brother ( we are related ) looks at peoples shoes. He’s an architect its all about details. I do agree that I can tell a lot about someone based on their shoes just like I look at peoples hands. Hands and shoes tell you a lot. Whether they are high maintenance, neat, chilled, what line of work, taste, attention to detail, gentle….BUT he also takes a step back at people who don’t ask him any questions. It shows him that they are not interested in getting to know you. And people who just talk about themselves, probably not sth you would put on your resume for worlds best friend.
I don’t like to use the word energy, but whatever you want to call it, gut, instinct, intuition, experience, vibe. We have the ability to use minimal information to form a fairly good judgment. Breaking it down would be body language, eye contact, use of language, actions. Actions speak SO much louder than words. Words without actions is what BS stands for.
Skip the small talk and ask the right questions. My friends bf told me he would say something controversial in a form of a joke or a question, sth that hits core values, that way you can find out very quickly whether the person is on the same page as you and at the very least, whether you share the same humour ( OMG theres SO much to humour I would have to write a whole other article about that ! )
Try and not just look at a persons outward appearance. BUT gather that information as clues to whats behind the surface.
I hope not only that you see people for who they truly are.
But that people may also get to see YOU for who you truly are!!!